We will be moving out without John's scoring since he isn't around.
Thanks to Justin and Arik, who helped judge.
Submission #1: Gizmo44
- Quote :
Name: Anthony McCaskey
Alias: “Tune of Death”
Powers/Back-story:
“Tune of Death” doesn’t have any given powers, but he is very crafty
and smart. He’s been compared to “Foxface” from the Hunger Game books.
He has an IQ of 180 and is considered “highly gifted.” He maintains a
job as an architect and constructs various city buildings and other
designs, drawing in a heavy commission. Besides his hefty salary,
McCaskey works on always having the upper hand among people. He tries
to read through them, look at their true motives, and figure out if
people are genuine or not. However, even with his average looks and
large bank account, he remains single and isn’t into looking around for
a significant other.
Due to the lack of “gadgets”, besides his
intelligence, it might be difficult to figure out what his super power
is. After being fed up with hearing depressing stories about people
being murdered and no justice for the killers and nothing being done to
prevent these crimes, “Tune of Death” decided to take action. Armed
with just his brain, some scrawny muscles, and a little comical wit,
Anthony meticulously plots out his crimes before he commits this. If
this sounds like the works of a villain rather than a hero, don’t be
confused. Anthony routinely participates in what he calls “rough
justice”, in which he has to openly violate and break the law in order
to get policies approved and prevention plans put into action. He’ll
watch the news, hear people on the streets talk, be observant, and
he’ll find out the insecurities of the common man and he will exploit
those to his fullest capability. In the next couple of paragraphs, some
of his more controversial acts will be elaborated and discussed.
After visiting a local café in New Orleans (New York is for rapists and
perverts, he always says), he overheard a couple of college girls
talking about being scared of creepers and weirdos at the local bars
and the lack of security. By hearing these complaints, McCaskey set his
next plan into motion. After locating the perfect place, the perfect
condoms, the perfect attack, he proceed to rape and sexually assault
fifteen women over the course of three days. Fueled by a disgust for
the lack of concern with police officers and their nonchalant attitude
towards rape victims, he decided to increase his tirade. After fifteen
victims, a couple curable STDs, and a black eye later, he sexually
violated three male police officers with pieces of PCP pipe, with
gasoline as the lubricant. Following these cases, the RSAP (Rape and
Sexual Assault Patrol) was created and rapists were caught, convicted,
and even charged with crimes committed by “Tune of Death.” Even though
he felt horrible about the nightmares and horrors that he infected on
the eighteen men and women, he knew that is was necessary. It was
necessary because if he had done nothing and not acted, then countless
others would have been raped and assaulted and possibly killed. He felt
he morally “owed” the victims to rape them, in order to help others.
The next incident happened when he was traveling in the state of
Tennessee. He was at a local diner and overheard a gasoline tanker
driver talking to his wife about how concerned he was that he couldn’t
carry a weapon when driver his truck since it went against the Truck
Driver Association (TDA) and he was always worried about getting jacked
a gun point and being murdered for the gas that he was carrying. As
Anthony overheard this, he prepared himself, remembering that he had a
twelve-gauge shotgun in the trunk of his stolen car. He hurried himself
out of the diner and made a small nick and cut in three tires on the
truck. He knew that going at sixty miles per hour for half an hour,
these would split and the truck driver would be forced to pull over.
Anthony walked into the diner and finished his meal, waiting for the
truck driver to leave before he followed half an hour later and, sure
enough, the truck driver was pulled over on the side of the road. “Tune
of Death” confronted him and, after some reasoning and acceptance, Tune
blew off the man’s forehead, scattering his shitty “truck living area”
with skull fragments. Tune set up a small set of time-delayed
explosions to go off and he was about five miles away when the
explosion occurred. He performed the exact same operation two more
times as he drove back to New Orleans, promoting President Obama to
enforce tighter security for gasoline truck drivers and allowing them
to carry weapons in their trucks.
“Tune of Death” routinely uses
one phrase that normally enrages his victims and makes killing, raping,
or murdering them feel like it’s required. He says “Come at me and I’ll
cut you down and gut you like a fucking fish.” He’s slaughtered people
who were unfortunate to be in five local banks where security was
loose. He torched upwards of three million dollars from the vaults and
gunned down, gutted, lynched, raped, and pounded three hundred people
in those five banks, never leaving a single victim. Victims, he claimed
in bank robbery cases, gave communities hope that they could find the
person who did this. He doesn’t provide hope, he shines a light on the
shadows and imperfections of what is wrong with the world.
He
doesn’t take mercy. He’s kidnapped children from daycares with low
security, sniped police officers from buildings that had poor
surveillance and weren’t up to code with law guidelines, poisons people
at restaurants to cause an FBI investigation into an illegal drug
trade, and much more. He’s not a vigilante because that is someone who
works to prevent crime by attacking those who would commit the crime.
McCaskey works to drill home the point of reforming and improving
conditions so that the average people will feel safe and protected.
About:
Besides the information previously stated, McCaskey hails from New
Orleans. He doesn’t communicate anymore with his parents, since he
can’t stand the looks from their faces. All through his young adult
life, they would continuously support him through anything that he
would or attempt. They put him through college and helped him get his
city job as an architect. However, he is so disgusted with himself at
the actions that he does, he can’t stand looking at his parents and he
can’t look himself in the face in a mirror. He avoids eye contact with
himself and considers his sole purpose to protect and watch out for the
common good of the people, by making an example out of one of them and
then having laws go into place to protect the others. “Tune of Death”
doesn’t use excessive force, he just uses logic and he knows how people
will react and takes that into account. He always outthinks his enemy
and has yet to meet his match.
Villain One: His villain would
have to be himself. As cliché as this sounds, McCaskey fears himself
more than anyone else in the world. He is concerned that he rash
actions could someday wind up hurting him. He normally acts on impulse
and is never able to shake a thought or notion out of his mind. He’s
rarely ever working on only one “scheme” at a time, but rather three or
four, dealing with murdering someone to working a bank job, to shooting
up an elementary school with exterior doors that don’t lock properly.
He loathes himself. However, he doesn’t resort to the usual drinking or
cutting, like many heroes and other people do when he is overwhelmed.
Instead, he strives to come up with more places where he can improve
society. Therefore, as he pushes himself to his breaking limit,
struggling to see how he can make sure that another father doesn’t
molest another son or daughter or make sure that homeless people aren’t
set on fire for fun anymore (he had to set eight on fire to get the
city to pass a Homeless Protection Ordinance). Truly, he dislikes his
work and waits for the day that he won’t be trigger fast, will be slow
with the draw, or something like that, but he knows that won’t come for
many years, since he never leaves any DNA or other traces around the
scenes that he works in.
Villain Two: His second villain is the
director of the FBI, Miss Sheryl Connor. She continues to work and
search for a connection between the different crimes that are committed
in the greater New Orleans area. She continually flies down and has
actually met with Anthony McCaskey on plans of perfecting the city
architectural and improving cameras and coverage in “high risk areas.”
Sheryl normally also comes down and investigates a string of crimes
that Anthony commits and Anthony is generally her guide around New
Orleans, by driving her to the various locations after her flight
lands. In this respect, Anthony is like the “city’s bitch”, because
they just have him do all of the bitch work. Connor is always asking
another question, probing a little deeper, and seeks advice from
Anthony to see if he has any advice for the killer, since, to quote her
“I don’t buy this local bullshit that it’s a different person doing all
of these fuck shit piss off crimes. City cops suck dick.” Anthony is
always working on balancing his secret life from Connor and her
searches for the doer of the crimes. Connor, even though she puts on a
hard look and face, she doesn’t believe in her job and her skills. She
feels like her job is a joke, that she is worthless, and struggles with
concepts of accepting her skills and the number of hand jobs and blow
jobs she had to give to get promoted to director (37 and a half (walked
in on and abruptly stopping counts for a half, she believes)). She
doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty and she’ll gladly through anyone
underneath the bus as long as it makes her long good. She doesn’t give
a fuck about anyone else and only tries to do her job, even though she
knows she’s on borrowed time until the guy she is searching for gets
her and she has accepted this fact.
Looks: There is no
distinction between how Anthony McCaskey looks when he is a hero or
when he is over thinking and overworking himself. He always has the
same demeanor and attitude. He is very humble and doesn’t pride himself
on being smarter than everyone else. He has shaggy brown hair and is
thirty-five years old. He is six foot, two inches with not a lot of
muscle. He wears glasses, which adds to his helpless appearance that
normally doesn’t make him look like a threat at all. He doesn’t have
any scars or marks across his face or body, no tattoos, nothing. He is
just the average American. The guy that cut you off in traffic on
Tuesday could be McCaskey, the guy you cut off on Saturday night might
be him, or he could be the guy who ordered after you at Starbucks on
Thursday. He prides himself on slipping quietly into the background at
a concert about shooting the lead vocalist in a touring band or
stealing a painting when the cameras go down for five minutes every
morning to reset at a local museum to teach them a lesson. He’s got a
look of innocence and doesn’t pose a threat to anyone unless he needs
to.
As for Sheryl Connor, she has a face for radio. The other
FBI agents routinely joke behind her back if he face needs any bread
(they are hinting that she has a butter face). Her body, on the other
hand, is sleek and slender. She weighs a modest one hundred and thirty
pounds and has petite breasts. She stands at five feet, six inches but
is in tip-top shape. She has golden blonde locks of hair with a natural
curl. Her blonde hair gives off the illusion that she is just a stupid
blonde in a suit and pencil skirt and the freckles on her face seem to
give the impression that she’s 16 instead of 26. She normally looks too
dressed up for her facial looks, but she doesn’t let that stop her.
She’s pretty much a honey badger and doesn’t give a fuck about what
anyone else thinks about her looks.
Judging:
Effort:
Mikey: You put a lot of writing effort into this. I question whether or not you did much, if any, research on comic book (super)heros. I like the detail and descriptions though. 6/10
Arik: you did put a lot of effort into this too bad you know nothing about comics to know this would never ever be published. So your effort was there but not in a good way. The name you gave him is not good. Also having himself as his worst enemy is kinda dumb. 4/10
Justin: Looks like you put alot of thought into the character you developed, im not really a fan of him, but you put alot of detail into how he is. 9/10
Originality:Mikey: This is something I have never heard of before. While anti-heros who go about things in a darker and more destructive sense is not something unheard of, this character goes about things in a much different manner than most. However, I was disappointed with one of the enemies being himself. 7/10
Arik: Ive never heard of anything like this as a comic but if you look hard enough its probably on a porn site somewhere. 4/10
Justin: This guy sorta reminds me of Dexter, you wouldn't think he was a serial killer but he uses his brains to kill. Id say its fairly original. 7/10
Appeal:Mikey: I can't see this appealing to many, especially kids. It's hard to imagine this ever being published, except maybe online. The psychological aspect is appealing, however, the villains are not. The repeated killings and rapes could grow tiresome. 3/10
Arik: comics are designed to appeal to all ages and all people starting in their early teens. Having your guy rape policemen with a lead pipe appeals to nobody but maybe the 1% of gay comic fans. 1/10
Justin: Honestly, this kind of comic wouldnt be for me. The im my own worst enemy card is sorta lame. 4/10
Final Scoring: 44/90Submission #2: Kyogre - Quote :
- Superhero name: Gini Hawk
Real name: Maria Cherolee
Maria Cherolee is a Native American woman living in Santa Fe, New Mexico. By day, she works as an assistant at the local zoo. One day, after finishing her shift, she was kidnapped by 2 men wearing a dark cape. When she woke up, she was inside a cage in a very dark and noisy cave. She heard laughter and the sounds of a hawk. When the lights return, she realized she's not alone. She has been kidnapped by the evil Dr. Erik Chatan. Maria was locked inside the cave for 2 weeks, and befriended a hawk. She learned many things from it. Chatan was trying to train Maria, wanting to create a new breed of swift and brutal evil female warriors. However, Maria knew of Chatan's plan, and one night, tried to escape. She took a horse from Chatan's stable and rode into the sunset. Chatan was an evil scientist, and he released one of his sinister "creations" to go find her. The entire chase takes place in the New Mexico desert.
Her Weapons:
Gini uses arrows and a bow to attack her enemies. She also is a very swift runner and has a lot of training in martial arts and self defense.
While kidnapped by Dr. Chatan, she also received super powers, including the ability to jump high distances.
Transportation: She stole a horse from Chatan's ranch. The horse was genetically altered to increase its speed and was also capable of jumping high distances. The horse's name was Khacda
Her enemies:
Dr. Erik Chatan:
A mutant. He was a priest at a local church but his obsession with women caused him to be excommunicated. He became evil and burned his whole body to give his skin a red-ish color. His master plan is to train women to become his army and he can take over the world. He uses torture and psychological manipulation to control the mind of his victims. He also has a past as a surgeon and uses those skills to create a new breed of "super villains". His goal was to create a "hawk female warrior" and he kidnapped Maria because he knew she was the last the descendant of the People of the Desert.
Female Villain: Vulcanopta
She was created in Chatan's lab and was his most valuable warrior. Her soul was taken away, and behind was left a woman with desire for death and blood. Her body was always on fire and her wings, made of steel, were sharp and very hot. After Gini escaped, Chatan released Vulcanopta to find her.
PostSubject: Head of Household #3: Superhero challenge Yesterday at 21:57 Select/Unselect multi-quote Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post Delete this post View IP address of poster
Superhero name: Gini Hawk
Real name: Maria Cherolee
Maria Cherolee is a Native American woman living in Santa Fe, New Mexico. By day, she works as an assistant at the local zoo. One day, after finishing her shift, she was kidnapped by 2 men wearing a dark cape. When she woke up, she was inside a cage in a very dark and noisy cave. She heard laughter and the sounds of a hawk. When the lights return, she realized she's not alone. She has been kidnapped by the evil Dr. Erik Chatan. Maria was locked inside the cave for 2 weeks, and befriended a hawk. She learned many things from it. Chatan was trying to train Maria, wanting to create a new breed of swift and brutal evil female warriors. However, Maria knew of Chatan's plan, and one night, tried to escape. She took a horse from Chatan's stable and rode into the sunset. Chatan was an evil scientist, and he released one of his sinister "creations" to go find her. The entire chase takes place in the New Mexico desert.
Her Weapons:
Gini uses arrows and a bow to attack her enemies. She also is a very swift runner and has a lot of training in martial arts and self defense.
While kidnapped by Dr. Chatan, she also received super powers, including the ability to jump high distances.
Transportation: She stole a horse from Chatan's ranch. The horse was genetically altered to increase its speed and was also capable of jumping high distances. The horse's name was Khacda
Her enemies:
Dr. Erik Chatan:
A mutant. He was a priest at a local church but his obsession with women caused him to be excommunicated. He became evil and burned his whole body to give his skin a red-ish color. His master plan is to train women to become his army and he can take over the world. He uses torture and psychological manipulation to control the mind of his victims. He also has a past as a surgeon and uses those skills to create a new breed of "super villains". His goal was to create a "hawk female warrior" and he kidnapped Maria because he knew she was the last the descendant of the People of the Desert.
Female Villain: Vulcanopta
She was created in Chatan's lab and was his most valuable warrior. Her soul was taken away, and behind was left a woman with desire for death and blood. Her body was always on fire and her wings, made of steel, were sharp and very hot. After Gini escaped, Chatan released Vulcanopta to find her.
Vulcanopta vs. Gini
In the final battle, Gini's arrow were useless against Vulcanopta's body. Vulcanopta used her wings to attack GIni and was successful. leaving scars in her body. Gini had to create a new plan and that was when she decided to run towards the river. She remembered a story her father told her many years ago about the sacred river. It was in this river where her ancestors sacrificed animals for the Gods of Rain. Once an animal was sacrificed, rain began to pour down non stop for 1 day. But only if people with the blood of her tribe did it. She grabbed a wild rat and sacriificed it. The rat's blood fell into the river and thunder became more and more prominent. The hawk she befriended appeared out of nowhere and fused with Gini, giving her the ability to summon the Gods of Rain. Eventually the rain began to fall, and Vulcanopta was unable to survive.
Gini vs. Dr. Erik Chatan.
Chatan escaped. He was riding one of his horses when suddenly Gini intercepted him. Gini let a cry of war out before attacking, with her bare hands, the evil mastermind. She used her hands to pierce his chest and pull out his heart, and then ate it. He fell to the ground. She got on her horse and left the scene. However, Chatan was still alive.....it appears hes not human anymore. And hes very willing to continue with his plan.
Judging:Effort:Mikey: You used a fair amount of effort coming up with the folklore aspect, but not a whole lot with the backstories of the characters. The hero reminds me of another superhero who I can't recall the name of. Also, a couple of things don't add up. Liked the work you put into the designs though. 6/10
Arik: you didnt put as much effort in as the other submission but your effort is a lot more comic like. 5/10
Justin: This one wasn't as well written as the first, it started off well but then near the end the battles were sort of dull and it looked like you rushed it a bit, i wanted more detail in the final battles. 7/10
Originality:Mikey: As said, it reminds me of another superhero and the characters have been done before. I did like the whole Native American part to it though, along with the bald woman. 5/10
Arik: I want to say ive heard of something like this before and I can't help but to see Hawkgirl in her 3/10
Justin: I reallly, really, liked your pictures, i didn't have to use my imagination to think of what they looked like, you provided the pictures for me! I thought a little of Iron Man at the start with the capturing and such, but i would say this is a pretty original piece. 8/10
Appeal:Mikey: I can see plenty of nerds wanting to read this, but with it all taking place in one area, the desert, with not many other characters I can see it getting stale very quickly. 4/10
Arik: This storyline could be a mini comic but it won't be mainstream. 5 issues would be made of this, tops. 2/10
Justin: I liked it, it would be something i think i would read if there was more detail in the battles. Doesn't sound too boring to me! 8/10
Final Scoring: 48/90Submission #3: Ratatouille - Quote :
- SuperHero's Name: VERITITAS
Alias: Sarah Lively
Real Name: Madeleine Emerson
History: Rich, rotten & spoiled. Madeleine Emerson lived the life almost everyone would envy. Born into the Emerson name of Thomas and Julie Emerson, a family of rich history in the media news industry, Madeleine was given a life of privilege, class and riches. Denied nothing and given everything on a silver platter, Madeleine had the best education, lifestyle, money can buy, but with all these advantageous she squandered them away as she lived a lavish and empty life. That all changed when she was brutally beaten, raped and left for dead at a costume party held at a very exclusive nightclub attended by society’s elite. Fully knowing her assailants, her father’s business partners, sons, Broderick Kauffmann & Harrison Kauffman, Madeline stayed quiet and silent about the attack. Once again, her family thought she put this upon herself, as she was extremely drugged and drunk at this party, which she must have engaged in highly questionable activities on the evening of this tragedy. Having no support, no friends or family to stand by her side, Madeleine after days of recuperation at the hospital, fled the scene, her life and did not return, until now.
Living a life of deep seclusion and cut off from modern society, it is here that she honed her skills as a hunter, fighter and survivor. Madeleine was set to return to the upper class society and correct all the wrongs that were not only done to her, but to also become the seeker of truth and the “vanquisher” of lies that are so thickly woven in her father’s social circles.
Madeline was to become the voice of those that never spoke, that had no opinions and no choice, she promised herself that she would bring justice to those, that lived a life escaping it and to a legal and criminal system that supported corruption!
As wealthy as her family is, Madeleine did achieve an education on her own merit, as a graduate of MIT in Computer Engineering, Madeleine was able to create a very complicated programme that allowed her to hack and corrupt her father’s news organization’s payroll and pension accounts. Simply stealing $0.10 from each employee’s pension funds on every paycheque and “dipping” into the family trust account of very nominal amounts, it only took a couple of years to accumulate millions of dollars that Madeleine had re-routed into Swiss Bank Accounts, with no trace at all. It was with these funds, Madeleine would re-enter society.
With the aid of the forest’s magical spirits, they changed Madeleine’s appearance and taught her to art of battle and warfare. Once Madeline was ready, she would return to the Upper East Side of New York City as Sarah Lively, a very wealthy, yet unknown, up and coming socialite. She quickly embraced the lifestyle and the social circles, as an investment advisor. Madeleine was very well aware of all the corruption amongst the Upper East Side community and she was determined to set things straight. To exact her revenge on the Kaufmanns and to expose all the secrets lies and betrayal all the families committed and would bring New York’s elite to their knees!
Skills: Highly trained in martial arts with CIA-similar techniques in battle and warfare, Madeleine was given these skills both as a teenager, as she trained in the martial arts, but honed them as a hunter when living her life in seclusion.
Gadgets / Weapons:
Three Pronged Sword – This is the sword that seeks the truth and vanquishes all lies. Being trained by the magical dwellers of the forests, they build this weapon for her to reward her for all her efforts in learning and developing her skills as a warrior. This sword has the ability to reveal all truth, as it is pierced into someone’s skin; they immediately speak the truth and reveal all their lies and crimes.
The Shield – The simplest form of protection has the ability to stop and instrument and leaving its motion to zero. Thus when any object strikes the shield it loses all energy and power.
Tonight’s Mission:
After numerous attendances at New York’s finest parties, Sarah was ultimately introduced to Harrison Kaufmann and her social circle expanded as she was becoming one of the youngest and most influential investment advisors for New York’s city elite. Little did they know, Sarah was becoming a modern-day Robin Hood as the wealth she was stealing from her clients would be given to the countless charities to help the poor and homeless.
Tonight’s party is of huge reward and risk, as Sarah is about to meet a potential client, one who can bring her tens of millions of dollars, one who can put her on the front page of the New York Times and on the cover of the New Yorker. Sarah is about to meet, Mr. Thomas Emerson!
**Note: They did design a picture on the hero-generator, but I guess they didn't save it correctly since they only gave me a weird code...***
Judging:Effort:Mikey: I like the effort in the backstory of the hero starting high, sinking low and then raising back to the top. However, we didn't learn anything of the villains really, and you didn't link us up to the picture, but rather gave us the code? o.O There was also some hypocrisy with the whole wanting to fight corruption, yet she hacks and embezzles money to fund this. 5/10
Arik: You didnt describe the 2 villains like your were supposed to but you put some effort in on your character 4/10
Justin: Looks like you put some thought into it. I would have liked to see more about the villains but im happy you described her two weapons. 7/10
Originality:Mikey: You said it yourself in your submission, Robin Hood. While that is only part of it, it's a huge chunk. I liked where you were headed, as it was something different, but then began to borrow from a lot of other sources. 4/10
Arik: Hasnt the poor kid that gets hurt then seeks revenge been done many times before? 2/10
Justin: Everyone likes a story about a girl who tries to fight evil. Its original, but you could have done a little more with it to take that extra step up. 7/10
Appeal:Mikey: I can see the beginning of it with the transformation of the character being of interest to quite a few, and to fans of Revenge. However, since this character is going up against normal, everyday people with a sword/shield, it is easy to say it will lead to a quick and predictable outcome. 4/10
Arik: This would probably be a good television show but as for a comic Im not sure. 3/10
Justin: I would read it for sure, but i just really wanted to hear about the villains more. its a pretty good concept just needed a little more. 7/10
Final Scoring: 43/90Thank you Justin(Paula) and Arik(Simon). So, with that, the winner of this challenge and your new HoH is:
- Spoiler:
Kyogre
Please put two people up on the block for nominations. You cannot put up Nicole.
Subject: Head of Household Competition #3 
Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:42 pm
Damnit for creative challenges that I love. hehe
